


still a better video game plot than SAO

by Jun_IJIIJI



Series: and the universe in your eyes (KHR Rarepair Week 2018) [4]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Does this count as fantasy?, M/M, Video Game Mechanics, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jun_IJIIJI/pseuds/Jun_IJIIJI
Summary: Spanner and Shoichi create and try out a cool, new, fantasy, virtual reality game. Shenanigans ensue.





	still a better video game plot than SAO

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Nova  
> Edited by Jun  
> ^~^

When Spanner woke up, the first thing he did was tumble out of bed and shout, “Yes! It worked!” at the top of his lungs, a proud smile on his face despite the pain in his shoulder.

 

To anyone watching and did not understand the situation, Spanner might have seemed like a lunatic. However, to those who knew what was happening, his reaction to waking up in an odd room he had never seen before was perfectly justifiable.

 

Shoichi and Spanner, after seeing the manga that the Vongola Tenth was reading (“Sword Art Online,” Shoichi called it. “The characters and plot could use some work but the premise is interesting.”) had gotten the great idea to create a virtual reality video game, much like in the manga. After working tirelessly day and night in an attempt to make the invention work, they had finally finished it. The first video game they created for the machine was simple, and the plotline was completely player-run; this was due to a few facts: they needed to see how different players would react to the game and this was the best thing they could think of, Spanner and Shoichi were lazy and couldn’t muster up much creativity after working weeks without sleep, and they just wanted to test the virtual reality out, not gain an award for their great video game design.

 

Now, all they had to do was follow the script.

 

Wincing at the bad decision to roll out of bed (“I just wanted to see if the pain receptors were working!”), Spanner pulled up the ‘Menu’ of the game by using two fingers in a ‘scrolling down’ motion. Since no one would be using the game aside from the virtual reality beta-testers, their characters and character classes had been programmed into the game instead of going through the process of programming in a ‘choose your class and character’ screen. Spanner had chosen an elf with a penchant for electric attacks, based off of his flame type, Lightning. His character name was ‘Spanner’ since he was too tired to think of anything else.

 

He clicked on ‘Character’ for a backstory of his character in-game, stats and appearance. If he remembered correctly, he was a “shut-in who had never seen another person in his life and prefers his machines to people.” Shoichi came up with that backstory, saying something how it would excuse his Level 1 stats, which were health: 47, mana: 27, magic: 23, attack: 20, defense: 20, speed: 23. Being an elf, he had a natural boost in magic, mana and speed, but a decrease in defense, health and physical attack. “Not bad,” he commented, always preferring the strike-fast, strike-hard characters over the tanks. Shoichi, who had programmed 90% of the game, knew him very well. Or he just chose a great class, he couldn’t quite remember.

 

As for Spanner’s appearance, he looked like a rip-off of Link from the earlier Legend of Zelda games. His hairstyle and body type were the same, still having a bowl haircut with a weird swirl, a tall body and blue eyes, but his clothes were the exact same as Link’s, along with the pointed ears. It seemed Shoichi really lacked the inspiration to create an original avatar with original clothes, but Spanner couldn’t care less. He figured he looked pretty cool and was glad to keep his green motif. And besides, it wasn’t like they could be sued since they weren’t going to sell the game in the first place.

 

“Ah,” Spanner frowned. If he remembered correctly, to start the plot, he would have to interact with the machines and start ‘working’. “Well, I’m ready now, why not?” 

 

He moved towards the corner of his room, where a mess of wires and and scrap metal had amassed. Poking the air around it resulted in this text box: “A new robot that you want to try to use magic to fuel. Should help you make food and collect materials for you.”

 

“Ah, so it’s a Mini Mosca,” Spanner hummed.

 

He clicked on the option that said, “Work on machine.”

 

The text box updated to, “Warning: Working on this machine will result in the passage of time. Work?”

 

Spanner pressed, “Yes.”

 

And so he began to work on the machine, amused as his proficiency and intelligence (which was already almost maxed out) went higher. In a real game, the player would start a Level 1 for everything, but Shoichi seemed to be set on making the game as realistic as possible.

 

Suddenly, the wall to his room crashed down, revealing a ball of lightning. Spanner stared at it curiously. The graphics to the game were incredibly real, and, well, he’s never met a real-life raiju before. Was this the first fight of the game? He felt his fingers spark dangerously. Would electricity work on a raiju?

 

“H-hey! Spanner!” a familiar voice stuttered, panicked. “O-owww… I don’t even have a stomach, how can it hurt?!”

 

Spanner laughed. “Shoichi? Is that you?”

 

The raiju sighed, transforming into an odd fox-like creature with red-orange fur, reminiscent of a Vulpix with only one tail. Shoichi really stopped caring about the designs, huh? “Yeah...” his boyfriend sighed, swishing his tail uncomfortably. “Uhh, so… my lines are, uh, ‘I’m so sorry for the wall!! Please don’t kill me!!’”

 

“Ah, I think my lines are, ‘Who are you?’” Spanner said. “This is so cheesy.”

 

Shoichi seemed to pout. “I was half-asleep, okay? And Byakuran helped, what else did you expect? Anyway, I should be saying, ‘I’m Shoichi Irie. I know I look like a raiju, but you have to help me! I was originally a mage working under the rule of King Byakuran, but he cursed me into a raiju!’”

 

“So cliche,” Spanner huffed. “Besides aren’t raiju supposed to be wolves?”

 

“Yeah, they are,” Shoichi said, “but Byakuran said I looked better as a fox and changed the design, and I didn’t feel like fixing it.”

 

“I see,” the blond hummed. “Alright, I say, ‘The King Byakuran?’”

 

“Right. And I say, ‘Have you never heard of him? He’s the King of the kingdom and a talented mage. He wants to take over the Vongola kingdom, and I was caught trying to betray him. We have to stop him because if he takes over Vongola, we’ll die!’”

 

“Uh, ‘What’s Vongola?’”

 

“You’ve never heard of them, either? Vongola is our neighboring kingdom, and very powerful. They have the power to control the past! But Byakuran, who forced a merge with Giglio Nero, the kingdom that controls the present, to form Millefiore, is equally powerful since they have the power of the present and future! If he takes over Vongola, the world is done for!”

 

Spanner held up a finger as if to tell Shoichi to stop. “Wow, so much information, and all at once. Okay, I say, ‘Alright, what does this have to do with me?’”

 

Shoichi rolled his eyes, curling up around Spanner feet. “Sorry, but I was half-asleep and Byakuran did help me write the script. I say, ‘Wait, they’re coming!’ These are NPCs, by the way.”

 

“Thanks for the tip, Shoichi,” Spanner replied. “What? Who’s coming?”

 

Shoichi seemed to whimper. “‘The guards Byakuran sent after me! Help!’ Jeez, I sound like a damsel in distress.”

 

Spanner laughed again. “Your role is a scanner, right? Since you can’t use your magic in raiju form. So in a way, you kind of are a hopeless damsel in distress.”

 

“Spanner!” Shoichi squawked. “Those are spoilers! Anyway, the guards will come right after I say this line: ‘We have to run!’”

 

On cue, the guards burst through the other wall. “The fox!” The guard in front shouted. “Get the fox!”

 

“My house…” Spanner said sadly. “Okay, uh, we engage after I say this, right? ‘We can’t run! We’re surrounded!’”

 

“Then we’ll have to fight! I’ll support you! Byakuran sealed away my magic, but I can still help!”

 

“Right… did you know that in most games, after someone’s been playing for a while, support characters start getting less and less helpful?” Spanner asked.

 

Shoichi huffed. “Not the time, Spanner! And I level up with you, so don’t worry about that! Uh, to your left!”

 

Almost instinctively, Spanner’s fingers lit up with green lightning, shocking the attacker. “It’s just like Flames,” he noted. “That’s handy.”

 

“You used a spell, and now you have 18 MP left, Spanner. You can take out about 2 other guardsㅡto your right!”

 

Spanner, who was conveniently fighting right next to his machine, picked up a wrench and used the butt of the wrench against his assailant’s head, knocking him out cold. “You’re a support, right? So you can replenish my mana. We’re not killing these guys, right?”

 

Shoichi shook his head. “Knocking them out, don’t worry. And yeah, I can, but my skills have cooldown while you have limited uses.”

 

“Ah, that’s helpful.” Spanner whacked the next guard with a piece of scrap metal. “This is kinda fun.”

 

The fox sweat nervously. “You’re not going to turn into a psychopath, right Spanner?”

 

“Eh? No, not with you there to stop me.” He shocked another guard, watching in satisfaction as he went down. “Is there any more?”

 

“Just the boss,” Shoichi responded. “You’ll see the EXP or level-ups you gain after the battle, by the way.”

 

“Thanks for the information. Where’s the boss? And could you replenish my MP?” Spanner asked, scanning the room.

 

“Attacking you,” Shoichi responded, pawing the machine. “Did you like the Mini Mosca I included?”

 

“It was a nice touch,” he replied, shocking the boss. “That MP replenish?”

 

“On it.” A flash of warm, yellow flames, and Spanner felt his mana return.

 

“Thanks,” he said before shocking the guard into oblivion. “Well, that was easy.”

 

Shoichi purred happily. “You’ve gotten better. Let’s see, you gained 40 EXP from the first four guards you defeated, then 25 EXP from the boss, so you have leveled up! You wanna hear your stats?”

 

Spanner nodded. “Why not?”

 

“Alright. So, your magic, mana and speed boon means your mana is now 30, your magic 28, and your speed 24. Your attack is 21, your defense 21 and your health 50. Oh, and you gained the skill ‘Lightning Gloves’ which lets you maintain your lightning for a prolonged period of time and the physical skills, ‘Bash’, ‘Punch’, and ‘Smack’. Your wallet now has 100 gold. Not bad.”

 

Spanner hummed. “Cool. What now?”

 

“We run. And complete quests. I think we’re supposed to get to Level 50 and then gain the attention of Vongola. Then we can meet Tsuna and infiltrate Millefiore.”

 

“Is Tsuna an NPC too?”

 

“Yeah.” At Spanner questioning look, Shoichi shrugged. “I figured Reborn would deny it when he realized the role was basically Tsuna giving orders that people would follow unconditionally, so I made him an NPC. Don’t worry, I asked for Tsuna’s permission.”

 

Spanner grinned. “Alright. When can I get my lollipops back?”

 

“The sooner we get to town.”

 

“Great. Let’s go.”

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

Spanner sighed in despair as the gave the NPC the skill book it had wanted. Though he would have preferred to keep the skill book for himself, skill books being one of the main ways he could gain better moves or boost his stats, the NPC’s quests offered enough EXP to boost him up to Level 50. 

 

Then, he could talk to Tsuna and take the king’s quest, which was to obtain certain items. Once he proved his worth, he would be allowed to travel through the land of Millefiore to save the Queen Yuni from Byakuran’s clutches. Then, once he saved her, he would help Giglio Nero and Vongola wage war on Byakuran and fight Byakuran himself. Once Byakuran was defeated, Shoichi would turn back to normal and the game would be won.

 

Speaking of Shoichi, he had visibly grown, unlike Spanner. While Spanner had remained a skinny twig throughout the entire quest to reach Level 50, Shoichi had obviously grown bigger. Now he had 5 tails and was the size of a leopard in adolescence, and he could actually attack somewhat by turning into a huge ball of electricity and shocking the enemy or releasing Sun flames and Activating any poison that might be in the enemy. This worked in conjunction with Spanner’s skill, ‘Poison Flames’, which meant every time he attacked someone using his flames, there was a chance he could inflict the status ‘poison’ on the victim. It was one among the other many skills he had gained through the rare skill book.

 

Still, reaching Level 50 was a terrible grind. He took so many quests, it was hard to even remember all of them clearly. “Why did you make the game like this?” he asked Shoichi once.

 

Shoichi didn’t know how to answer either. “I just figured you’d need to be a high level to meet Tsuna. I didn’t count on you running away from all the battles and thus needing to grind when you reached the capital. I calculated everything so that when you made it to the capital, you’d be around Level 50.”

 

Spanner cursed his cowardice. “Of course.”

 

“You can keep the skill book!” the NPC chirped. “Thank you for affirming that this skill exists for me!”

 

He almost cried tears of joy. This skill book had taken ages to find and even longer to get the 1 out of 1000 chance drop. Not to mention the NPC’s quest had said the skill book was said to be a super powerful skill, too.

 

The moment Shoichi was done updating him on his status (health: 192, mana: 177, magic: 76, attack: 67, defense: 64, speed: 73), Spanner tried using the skill book. Except it didn’t work becauseㅡ 

 

“You must be Level 75 or higher to use this skill book.”

 

“More grinding?!”

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

King Tsuna was as nice as the real Tsuna, but had a lot more leadership skills. He reminded Spanner of the ten years later Tsuna ㅡ he was still awkward, but was able to lead and actually commanded respect from everyone.

 

“You are… Spanner, correct? I have heard much about you,” the game Tsuna said, a warm look crossing his features. “I heard you had a personal reason for defeating Byakuran, too.”

 

Spanner glanced down at Shoichi, who was curled on his lap. “Yeah, you could say that,” he said.

 

Tsuna sighed. “The truth of the matter is this: I have permanently locked away the Vongola rings which control the past. By doing so, I have weakened our forces dramatically, but I knew that even with the rings, the combined forces of the Giglio Nero and Gesso would topple Vongola. This way, we will lose the battle, but Byakuran will not have won, either.

 

“However, with such talent as you, I have a feeling out chances of defeating Byakuran has increased, so we may need the rings. Therefore, I would like you to go on a quest for me and retrieve the rings from the depths of Tartarus. It took me a very long time to traverse Hell itself and I came close to dying many times. If you can do this is less than a week, then I will help you with your endeavor to defeat Byakuran and reward you immensely.” Tsuna’s eyes were weary but hard, and Spanner was reminded of ten years later Tsuna. Any pictures he saw of the man was the exact same as the picture of the man in front of him.

 

“Hey, did you clone ten years later Tsuna?” he asked Shoichi once they were on their way to retrieve the Vongola rings. “He looks and acts the exact same.”

 

“You never interacted with ten years later Tsuna, how would you know he acts the same?” Shoichi snarked back. “And besides, if I could clone ten years later Tsuna, why would I waste it on a subpar video game?”

 

“Touche.”

 

The trip down to Hell was actually much easier than King Tsuna made it out to be. Sure, the terrain was tricky, but the monsters were definitely quite easy to kill. “Are you sure we needed to be Level 50 for this?” he asked, striking down another monster with a sword he had obtained from a quest. “It seems almost too easy.”

 

Shoichi looked grim. “The hard part is up ahead,” he said before licking Spanner’s faceㅡthe closest they would get to kissing. “Good luck,” the fox whispered as Spanner felt his health and mana replenish.

 

“You act as ifㅡShoichi? Where’d you go?” Spanner startled, looking around with a sort of mania.

 

A booming voice laughed. “Only one may challenge me!” it shouted. “No pets allowed!”

 

“Hey, you bring back Shoichi!” Spanner responded, readying his sword. “Come out!”

 

The NPC boss came out, a ghost with a sort of corporeal form. It was huge, barely fitting in the cave. “Kekekekekeke! I know what you want, tiny human! You’ll have to get through me first! And if you don’t…” It held up a hand, and in it was Shoichi, curled into a ball and shivering pitifully. “...Your little pet goes with you too.”

 

“Shoichi!” Spanner screamed, eyes narrowed in an uncharacteristic rage. “No one takes my boyfriend away from me! DIE!”

 

Later, after the fight, Spanner would complain of hoarse voice.

 

“What did you do?” Shoichi asked, an amused look on his face. The fox juggled the box of rings in his many tails. “Have a shouting match?”

 

“Honestly?” Spanner ran a hand through his hair before admiring the cool ring he got from the boss. Apparently it was one of a kind and had a purity on par with the Vongola rings themselves. “I’m not too sure myself. One moment I was there, and the next moment, it was gone and a ring was in its place.”

 

“Maybe you scared it off,” Shoichi joked. “You can get weirdly intense when I’m threatened.”

 

Shoichi wouldn’t know this, but in reality, that was the exact thing that had happened. Spanner had leveled the boss with that angry death glare of his, and the boss ran away before he could do a thing, dropping the ring in apology.

 

Seriously, were the AI getting sentient, or was that just a secret skill Spanner had gotten somewhere along the way?

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

A week later and Shoichi and Spanner were off to save Queen Yuni from the evil clutches of King Byakuran. “She should be in the Giglio Nero castle today,” Tsuna had said. “If you can convince her retainer, Gamma, that you’re doing this to save her, you should be fine.”

 

Spanner asked, “There’s no possession or drugs at work, right?”

 

Tsuna shrugged. “We’re not too sure either.”

 

On their way there, Spanner asked Shoichi, “Is Yuni an NPC or a player character?”

 

“She’s a player,” Shoichi replied, cuddling up to Spanner. “You just have to defeat Gamma, who’s an NPC.”

 

“I see.” Spanner nodded.

 

When the duo finally reached the Giglio Nero castle, they were greeted by an odd sight: Gamma scowling as Yuni and Byakuran conversed happily. “What? No way!” Yuni gasped. “There’s no way that’s true!”

 

“Oh, it is true,” Byakuran responded in like, grinning. “They’re definitely together. There’s only so long you can go without realizing how gay they are for each other.”

 

Spanner and Shoichi shared a look. Were they talking about them?

 

Every word Byakuran said only caused Gamma to look even more angry. It was a comical sight, seeing Gamma so furious while Yuni and Byakuran laughed together.

 

“What do I do?” Spanner whispered to Shoichi, who purred contentedly in Spanner’s arms. “Do I just, shout?”

 

“Try ‘Release the queen, you dastard!’ But, Byakuran shouldn’t be here. Maybe direct it at Gamma instead?” Shoichi offered, nosing the hand that was petting him.

 

“Sure.” Spanner set down the fox, who pouted cutely at the action. “Uh… release the queen you, dastard!” he shouted half-heartedly, making sure Gamma overheard. 

 

Meanwhile, Yuni and Byakuran didn’t even pause at his words. If anything, they only got louder. “I ship it!” Yuni squealed. “I can see it right now, and it’s just so cute! Imagine it, Shoichi and Spanner cuddling together, Spanner being the big spoon and Shoichi the little spoon… ahhh, it’s adorable!”

 

Shoichi and Spanner shared a glance. Yeah, they were definitely gossiping about them, and judging by the way they only got louder, were well aware that they knew they were gossiping. Gamma was shouting whatever at them, but all Spanner could think about was how to stop Yuni and Byakuran from spreading the information. They liked their privacy, thank you very much.

 

Finally, the time to battle began. “Gamma’s an elemental mage with an electrical affinity,” Shoichi warned, tuning out the furious whispering happening in the background. “Try poisoning him. If you hit him, you’ll get shocked too, and you’re not exactly immune to electricity yourself.”

 

“Thanks, Shoichi,” Spanner responded, changing his weapon from sword to scepter. As Gamma used his eight-balls, he quickly cast his skill, “Impenetrable Shield” which used his flames to create a barrier that nothing could pass through, not even air, rendering Gamma’s attack pretty much useless.

 

Spanner sent out a stream of Lightning towards Gamma, ignoring the way the other man mocked him for doing something so foolish and instead grinning in victory when the text, “The enemy is poisoned!” appeared in his vision. 

 

“Now, Shoichi!” he shouted, and Shoichi let out a stream of Sun flames directed towards Gamma. As Gamma tried to escape them by flying up towards the sky, Shoichi, with a flick of his tails and a quick dance, manipulated the flames to surround Gamma. The poison in his system was quickly Activated, defeating him in seconds.

 

“These battles are really easy,” Spanner mused, putting back his scepter to scoop up the fox. “I think we’re too OP.”

 

Shoichi shrugged, curling into him. “It’s not as if we’re selling this. We’re just testing out the virtual reality system.”

 

“Right. I almost forgot.”

 

“See, don’t they just belong together?” Byakuran gestured towards them. “I knew I made the right decision turning Shoichi into a cute fox! I gotta show Tsuna!”

 

Spanner could feel his eye twitching. “How do you want to do this?”

 

This time, Shoichi didn’t complain about ‘spoilers’ and ‘doing things ahead of the game’. “Let’s kill him,” he said darkly.

 

“Gladly.”

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

Spanner stared down at the felled final form of Byakuran. The body was lying down, mocking a state of sleep, as Shoichi nosed the body. “Wake up,” he said. “We didn’t even get to use the cool final move I planned on you.”

 

Byakuran groaned. “But that’d be painful,” he whined. “I don’t wanna feel it. Just kiss Spanner or whatever and we can be done with this game.”

 

Shoichi rolled his eyes as Spanner frowned. “You mean I went through all this grinding for nothing?” he complained. “I could have just kissed you?”

 

“Yeah,” the fox responded. “But I wanted to use the cool final move I planned. But Byakuran-san decided to be lazy and transform before falling asleep. So anti-climatic.”

 

“Cool final move?” Spanner asked. “You mean the Level 75 skill book?”

 

Shoichi nodded, flicking his 9 tails proudly. “My magnum opus,” he said. “‘When two players’ will combine, they can execute the ultimate combo and completely one-hit kill the enemy.’ Drop a meteor on them, essentially. It was going to look really cool.”

 

Byakuran rolled over, staring up at the fox that was now pawing at his face. “I don’t wanna feel it, Sho-chan,” he said. “Can’t you do it on some NPC? If you do, I won’t even show Yuni those pictures I have of you two cuddling on the couch.”

 

Spanner and Shoichi’s eyes simultaneously darkened. “Let’s destroy him,” they said ominously.

 

And they executed the ultimate move.

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

Extra scene:

 

After the virtual reality…

 

“Did you have to do that?” Byakuran complained, practically inhaling a bag of marshmallows. “That  _ hurt _ Sho-chan. That hurt more than dying, and dying hurt a lot.”

 

Shoichi rolled his eyes, cuddling tighter into Spanner’s long arms. “Your fault, Byakuran-san,” he muttered, nuzzling into Spanner’s hand as he pet him. “You shouldn’t have said anything about those pictures.”

 

“Don’t worry, I deleted them,” Spanner said. “And I also hid away the rest of the marshmallows.”

 

Byakuran chucked the empty bag of sweets at them. “I hate you two.”

**Author's Note:**

> This diverged from the original idea a lot. I don't even know what happened.  
> I'm sorry if you didn't find this funny. I'm just messing around, to be honest. At first it was going to be about shut-in elf Spanner who meets raiju Shoichi and has to deal with the outside world and defeating Byakuran. But then my brain was like 'hye, we can turn this fantasy AU into something like virtual reality' and I was like 'no' but I still did it anyway.  
> Throughout the entire thing, Jun was just insulting my sense of humor. I have to say, I can see where he comes from.  
> As always, thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Nova


End file.
